Merry After Christmas!

Christmas has come and gone. Whether or not my children actually slowed down enough to appreciate the real reason we celebrate the season, I am not sure. No matter how much we remind them, they are always ready to move on to the next presents. We all have colds now so we are slowing down whether we want to or not. =-) More than last year, it seemed that we noticed how much we missed my grandparents and my dad. But it made us appreciate our familes and we enjoyed being together this Christmas. I am glad the busyness is over for a little while. We have New Years in a couple of days but I am glad we have this week before we start back to school and work.


We had to start Shelby in counseling a few weeks ago for her anxiety. She has always had really bad anxiety and it peaked a few weeks ago. She started having thoughts she shouldn't be having and so I started taking her to a counselor. My psychiatrist has been telling me for a couple of years that each of us need to be seeing a counselor so that we have someone we already trust when things get bad. Which is a great idea and I knew Shelby needed it the most but I just kept putting it off. And even during the 1st session, with several - and I do mean several- worries for her to talk about - Shelby told the counselor that her main worry was losing me. She said she doesn't want to be the only kid in college who can't call their mom. And she said that Cole wouldn't be able to make it without me. That is a lot of stuff for an 11 year old to worry about. But I am praying that the counselor will give her some ways to deal with her worries. She told me that we might still have to give her meds but we would not do that for a while. Unfortunately, Shelby is not worrying for nothing. I can't tell her everything is going to be "okay" and that is very frustrating as a mom because I want to make it okay. So when you think about Shelby, say a little prayer for her - that her mind and her heart would not be anxious. I am feeling horribly guilty about being the cause of Shelby's anxiety. When I take her to counseling, I sit in the waiting room and think "we wouldn't be here if it weren't for me." But I know I will have much more to feel guilty for before this is over. And so for now I will just be thankful that I have found a counselor that Shelby likes and trusts.

I did not intend for today to sound so depressing because I am not sad today. Today I am very thankful for the sunshine. I feel so much better when it is not gloomy outside!