Wow, I have been in a serious depression since I got back on Sunday. It was probably good that Monday was president’s day & the kids were out of school because it gave us a chance to have Cole’s birthday party at the bowling alley. It was actually an arcade & pizza party and he had a great time. Jill was there with both Zach & Eli, Jana was there with Jacob & Jack, Kay was there with TJ & Summerlyn and Michelle was there with Ben. It was good to get a chance to talk to them & catch up. But then chip left for Orlando after that and won’t be back til Friday. It’s not him being gone that has been so hard this time… I just don’t have it in me to get up & get the things done that actually make me feel better. I can’t tell you last time I stayed in bed all day but I did yesterday. I read for a while and then about 1pm, I went to sleep and didn’t get up til 9pm. Got the kids in bed & went back to bed. These are the days when I wish I had someone to help me pick up & clean up. This morning I was up at 4:20! Tried to read, and do some dishes but there is so much to do that it is overwhelming so I do nothing!
Today is Ash Wednesday and I have been praying about what to give up…lately I have been convicted about my online spending so I think that is what I am giving up. I have been buying things online because it is so easy so I have decided if I need something bad enough, then I will find a way to get to a store & buy it…which I hate doing.
Another thing I have been convicted of is the way I have been treating Chip…it is certainly not the way a wife should treat her husband. I don’t take the time to listen to him and I do not appreciate all that he does for me. If I were him, I would not be so patient with me. Sometimes I feel like I treat him as if he is my friend and the person who raises our children with me. I know God wants better for him and I am praying that I will find a way to be that to him. We are going to Las Vegas next month for our 16th anniversary…I am praying that it is a time of reconciliation for us.
I am thankful for my husband who totally understands me for the good and really bad...I love him.
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