Friday, February 24, 2012

It is amazing to me how much drama goes with having a girl. Someone is always upset with the other…Wednesday I had to go get her from school because she was so emotional and one of her friends was ugly to her so how do you say no when your daughter is telling you she needs you. I wish I had better answers for her on dealing with them but I’m not sure it would help.
Drama or no drama...I am so thankful for my precious daughter that God has given us to raise.

Wednesday, February 25, 2012

Wow, I have been in a serious depression since I got back on Sunday. It was probably good that Monday was president’s day & the kids were out of school because it gave us a chance to have Cole’s birthday party at the bowling alley. It was actually an arcade & pizza party and he had a great time. Jill was there with both Zach & Eli, Jana was there with Jacob & Jack, Kay was there with TJ & Summerlyn and Michelle was there with Ben. It was good to get a chance to talk to them & catch up. But then chip left for Orlando after that and won’t be back til Friday. It’s not him being gone that has been so hard this time… I just don’t have it in me to get up & get the things done that actually make me feel better. I can’t tell you last time I stayed in bed all day but I did yesterday. I read for a while and then about 1pm, I went to sleep and didn’t get up til 9pm. Got the kids in bed & went back to bed. These are the days when I wish I had someone to help me pick up & clean up. This morning I was up at 4:20! Tried to read, and do some dishes but there is so much to do that it is overwhelming so I do nothing!

Today is Ash Wednesday and I have been praying about what to give up…lately I have been convicted about my online spending so I think that is what I am giving up. I have been buying things online because it is so easy so I have decided if I need something bad enough, then I will find a way to get to a store & buy it…which I hate doing.

Another thing I have been convicted of is the way I have been treating Chip…it is certainly not the way a wife should treat her husband. I don’t take the time to listen to him and I do not appreciate all that he does for me. If I were him, I would not be so patient with me. Sometimes I feel like I treat him as if he is my friend and the person who raises our children with me. I know God wants better for him and I am praying that I will find a way to be that to him. We are going to Las Vegas next month for our 16th anniversary…I am praying that it is a time of reconciliation for us. 

I am thankful for my husband who totally understands me for the good and really bad...I love him.

Fabulous Girl's Weekend

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


This past weekend, I had a much needed girl’s weekend. Me, Nicki, Laura, Meg, Katie and Cary all left Friday afternoon for Chattanooga. But by the time we were all STARVING and thankfully we found a fabulous Japanese steak house…I even had tofu! We went back to our room which  was pretty great because it was a suite w/2bedrooms & 2 baths…it slept 8. I slept in the king bed with Laura and I was exhausted so I was out quickly. We were up at 8 and went down for breakfast and then got ready for a day of shopping, eating and then we had to be at the spa at 2pm.. I ended up getting a 1hr massage and a pedicure. It was wonderful! We went to another great Italian restaurant that night and again, we came back & got in our jammies and went to sleep.  A girl can't ask for a better day than that and for better friends to spend the day with.  I am so thankful for my precious friends who "take care of me" and I am thankful that it doesn't matter how long we haven't seen each other, nothing changes...except some of us are getting older & grumpier in our old age!!  

Friends

I have included quite a bit about some of the guys in my life that have made a difference in who and where I am today but there are so many more friends that have "put up with me" through the years.  The first one I think of is Jill Hutcheson Loyd...She was my first friend in kindergarten and we stayed friends through jr. high, high school, and now our boys are really good friends!  One of the best things about our friendship was how close we lived to each other...we lived on the same road so our mom's would let us walk halfway to meet each other.  One of my favorite years in school would be our ninth grade year when we did the yearbook together.  The group of girls that made up our staff had no clue what we were doing but we did have a lot of fun!  Jill was not like me...although she was beautiful, she did not feel the need to "have a guy" all the time.  The very best part about our friendship was the 3 years we worked together at Opryland.  She & I had both had connections so we were able to get jobs that you usually have to be 18 for...we worked in the admissions center and sold everything from season passes to grand old opry tickets.  Because we rode in together, we almost always got the same schedule.  We even worked in the winter for a few hours a week when the General Jackson had cruises... These times were definitely some of my favorite from high school!  It was during our junior year that I had world history with Ben Loyd...funny, me, him & Jill were all in the same kindergarten class and had been in school together all the way through... But that year, Ben asked me to "fix him up" with Jill.  I did and as they say, the rest is history!  Jill went to Tennessee Tech and Ben did too for a while...it was a few years before she finished nursing school and then they were married.  It's funny how so many things change and yet they don't...  I would never have thought that I would have a child going over to Jill & Ben Loyd's house for sleepovers but I wouldn't trade anything for it!!  They have Zach, who is a few months older than my Cole and I LOVE that they have been in school together since kindergarten and they have played ball together... It doesn't get much sweeter than that.

By the way...

I forgot to mention that I am going to ask a few special friends to help me with some of my special memories so that I don't forget them.  I am going to see if they will post them on this blog & if they have pictures, hopefully they can attatch them. 

Sex, Marriage, & Fairytales

 Bet I got your attention with that title!!?  If you are able, check out this video on youtube...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4OK9DmLpCY  Sex, Marriage & Fairytales...How to make sure your daughter doesn't end up on "The Bachelor."  This guy has several other videos about growing up but it just goes along...again...with what I've been saying about how important the father and daughter relationship is in a girl's life.  And if a father doesn't show her how she deserves to be treated.  It is easy for me to point out things in my life that are a benefit to Shelby but I worry about Cole becuase I'm not sure how to do that.  Thankfully he has not yet become interested in girls but I pray we are modeling the correct way a young man should be treating a young lady.  And PRAY! 
I stopped yesterday with me and Chip together and him in Murfreesboro.  I knew within a few months that we had something different..very special.  Chip was so different.  He was so much fun, thoughtful, caring, and unselfish and we NEVER FOUGHT...which was wonderful!  How could I not be in love him?  I knew that God had given me a chance to turn my life around and I would be so stupid to mess it up.  The song "God Blessed the Broken Road" fit us perect.  We started talking about marriage that summer.  Yes, it was soon, yes, I was young but we were in a hurry.  We were engaged by that August and actually married by the following March.  March 9, 1996....I was only 20 and he was 26.  We didn't have very many pennies to rub together but we moved into a rental house from my mom in Donelson.  I still had 9 months of school left.  We got married during my spring break and I was back at school that monday.  We had to wait until summer to take a honeymoon which was a wonderful cruise to the bahamas and 3 days at disney world.  But it was Great!!!  We were happy and didn't know things were hard.  I drove to Clarksville and he drove to Murfreesboro every day.  I went to school that summer and did my student teaching that fall.  There were no teaching jobs available due to my graduating in December, I took a job at Southminster Presbyterian Daycare teaching 3 year olds.  Another important thing that happened to us during this time was that we started looking for a church.  We had visited a couple when we ran into Jonathan Crumpton at a Trevecca graduation, he told us he was the music minister at Hermitage Church of the Nazarene and invited us to come.  We visited the following week...sometime in July...and we knew we had found our home.  The people were wonderful and we loved Pasor Howard immediately.  We got involved in a ss class - the Kaleo Class which was mostly newlyweds in their 20's & 30's without children.  We went on a fall retreat with them that fall and I met someone who would make a huge difference & still does today.  Marla Houser was the only one with a baby.  Alex was about 10 months at that time.  We rode up together in the church van and her husband, Brad, was coming up later.  We realized that we actually lived on the same street in Donelson.  Of course that weekend, we made some other amazing friends...like the ones you keep for life.  Mike and Carol Waller, Kevin & Wendi Harrison, and Kevin & Kim Davenport.  They, alsong with Brad & Marla Houser are friends we have now had for 16 years.  We have celebrated births, every new year, christmas', halloweens, vacations, super bowls.  As well as dealt with miscarriages, diseases, deaths, & job losses. We have also added April & Billy Swoner to our group in the past few years which is a huge blessing because she and I grew up together in church at Lakeview.  She knows me well.  I have no doubt that God has put these people in my life and we are so blessed.  Tired of typing but I've got a surprise for tomorrow!!

more to the story..

I guess I need to go on with my story and get to the point... Jason and I started dating and had several off and on times between the December of our junior year and the first semester of our sophomore yr in college.  Our off and on times were mostly because he knew me better than myself a lot of the times and he would call me on it.  He could see that I was "needy" and always wanted to analyze why!  Once we got past trying to figure out how to date your best friend, we really were a great couple.  We visited several colleges together and had decided to both go to MTSU but when I got a scholarship from Austin Peay, we changed our plans.  The summer after we graduated I hurt him so badly that things began to change and were never the same.  Our first semester of our freshman year was hard because we both kept hurting each other.  The second semester, he joined Sigma Chi and I pledged Alpha Delta Pi.  And we stayed broken up for most of that semester and that summer.  That summer, I did a lot of thinking about what I wanted and I decided that was Jason.  But we could not continue hurting each other... if we were going to get back together, it was going to be for good.  We made plans one night to talk about us and what we wanted, however, he never showed up to meet me.  While I was waiting for him, he got asked out by another girl and they ended up together for the next 2 years.  I was heartbroken... I wish I could say I handled it well, but I didn't. I did many things I regret and dated guys I shouldn't have.  All of this time I could have been spending time with my girlfriends but I didn't.  It was as if I always needed a guys attention.  I am so sorry for the good times and memories I missed out on back then.  I totally understand why God wants us to "guard our hearts" because once you have given a piece of your heart away, you cannot ever get that back.  It was February of my sophomore year and I was at the Sigma Chi house for a party.  And that is when Chip asked me out.  Chip lived in Knoxville at the time and he had come in to Clarksville (where his family is) to celebrate his birthday.  At first I was a bit hesitant because the 2 other times I had met him he was a bit "sure of himself."  The first time being when he & Norm had come into town for Brother's Day and they ran into me & Jason (who was a  pledge at the time).  And when he found out I was an ADPI alpha, he proceeded to tell me how long he had dated the president of the sorority so he knew all these "secret things I didn't).  Which wasn't true but he still irritated me.  The second time I ran into him was the following homecoming when he had again. come into town for the party.  I was there with a friend because they guy I was dating at the time was working.  And because I was there with a friend, he took it upon himself to turn up the charm.  Which he's good at when he tries!  We did finally dance a dance together....the Cowboy ChaCha to the song Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn.  So it was several months before I ran into him again and like I said I wasn't so sure about him but he asked me to meet him back at the Sigma Chi house the next night for the Super Bowl party and I agreed.  Of course he was in Knoxville but he asked me if he could call and he did a couple of times that week.  He also asked me if we could go out the following weekend if he came into town and I agreed.  I remember it not being a real date because he took me to another party but at least we got to talk & know each other better.  It was about this time I realized I had totally misjudged him.  He was actually a pretty incredible guy and that scared me... not like other guys at all!  It was either the following or the next that he asked me to come to Knoxville and go up to a chalet in Gatlinburg with his friends Norm & Robyn.  Norm was his roommate and Robyn also lived in Clarksville.  The weekend was amazing...I was falling pretty hard.  At this point I brought him home to meet my parents and of course they loved him. Dad offered "to leave a ladder outside my window" so you can come get her!  It was also about this time that Chip got a promotion to the Murfreesboro store... we were so excited!  No more driving back and forth to Knoxville!