I don't want to go back!

This is the last day of fall break and I wish I could make time stop. During the 2 weeks that the kids have had off, I have also had off of work. I work at the Mother's Day Out at our church on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This is my 5th year teaching 3 year olds in a mother's day out. I don't do it for the money - trust me - I make a whopping $40 a day. I do it because I have always enjoyed it. I enjoy the kids and the friends I work with from church. It gets me out of the house and keeps my mind busy. This year, however, has been a nightmare for me and I can't decide exactly why. I have started having panic attacks while I'm getting ready for work, on my way to work, or even while I'm at work - and this is something I have never done. I have found myself dreading going to work. I don't enjoy it. When I come home from work, I literally cannot move or do anything else until I have layed down for a while. Most of the time "a while" turns into 3 hours of being almost unconscious. On the days I work, I am so much less patient with my kids at home. I find myself snapping at everybody. These are all things I have never done before. I do have a little boy in my class that requires a tremendous amount of time & attention. He is very difficult and it stresses me out because I feel like the other children are not getting a fair amount of attention. I don't know if the situation in the classroom is what is causing me to be so miserable or is my body trying to tell me something? I always knew there would be a time that I couldn't work anymore because of the stress. (The drs. say that the more stress on your body, the faster the disease will progress. ) I keep thinking the situation is going to get better but we are 9 weeks in and it hasn't so far. Obviously the stress is having an effect on my health but there is nothing I can do. The director is a great friend of mine and I will never leave her without a teacher. She knows that I need out but we both know replacements are very difficult to find. So for now, I know I have to have a more positive attitude. I am just not used to dreading something so much!