I remember exactly where we were when I told Chip about the Huntington's Disease being in my family. We were sitting in the parking lot at the Wal-Mart on Fort Campbell Blvd. in Clarksville. We had been dating a while and it was starting to get serious. I told him that he was going to have to seriously think about whether or not he would want want me in his life because if I had Huntington's, it would be a life of heartache. Of course for all of you who know Chip, he is the positive thinker. "There was no way I was going to get this disease and if I did, it would be worth the time we had together." That all sounds so easy now! I wish his parents had shook him and told him to stay away from me. He is too good of a man to deserve what I have and will put him through. But we were young and in love and anything seemed possible so we were married.
In 1993 was when the test became available to be tested to find out if you have HD - even if you weren't showing symptoms - and I had always intended to take that test before I had children. But in 1997, after only being married a year, we found out I was pregnant with Shelby. It was a complete surprise and not in our plans at all! In the back of my mind I knew that if I had this disease, then now I could pass it on to the baby. But I was so caught up in being in love with Shelby that nothing else mattered. I had planned on teaching full time after she was born and I just couldn't leave her. We had to scrape by sometimes but I never went back and I don't regret that. About 6-9 months after she was born, I started planning on being tested and my family went nuts. They all thought I was crazy. Why would I want to know if I had the disease before I even had the symptoms? When I tried to explain that it would help me decide if we wanted more children or not they thought I was criticizing them. My older sister said that I must think that she's irresponsible for having 2 children without knowing if she had the disease or not. My mom did not want to start thinking about HD before we had to and she just thought I was too young to be thinking about it. Chip was okay with my decision to test but he wasn't crazy about it. I felt like I was crazy for wanting to know so I decided not to test before we got pregnant with Cole. That is a decision I still regret. So now I have this disease and 2 children with a 50% chance of having it too. It was not long after Cole was born that they started doing in vitro on women with HD. They take out the eggs and only fertilize the non HD eggs. Why couldn't I have waited? Anyway, looking back, I am thankful that I had my children at such an early age because I want to be as much a part of their growing up years as possible. Hopefully, I will be able to drive until Shelby starts driving. I do believe God gave Shelby to me when he did because he knew how much I would need her now.
Today I am thankful for the rain.
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