It's all in my head

Let me just say that a really good way to make someone who already feels a bit crazy, really crazy, is to tell them it is all in their head. Believe it or not this is what my mom told me last night when I was talking to her about how anxious I was feeling about this weekend. I was telling her how it frustrated me that these things used to never bother me and she asked me if I was letting my sister's progress affect me. She wondered if I was looking at my sister and thinking that the same things should be happening to me. In other words, was it all in my head!!!?? I was pissed!! First of all, the things that bother me are not the same as what bothers my sister. And second of all, I do not make a habit of trying to be like big sister. If you know me and her, you know that is quite the opposite! So when I am mad and upset I always start crying. And I tell her that isn't fair. That the things happening to me have nothing to do with my sister. I should be able to talk to her about the very real things I am experiencing without being made to feel more crazy. Then she breaks down crying and says that she is in denial about me having any symptoms because I am not supposed to have HD. That I am the one who "holds our family together" and she doesn't know how she'd make it without me. So we have a cry and she tells me how guilty she feels that any of us are going through this. She says she's sorry for trying to find other reasons for my symptoms. I tell her that I've got to be able to talk to her without her making me feel like "it's all in my head." I went to bed with a bad headache because when I cry, I get a headache. And a lingering feeling that I am a bit crazier. :-)
Tonight I am thankful for my mom. I really don't know what I would do without her.