Well, I did it! I survived! Chip's family came, ate and everything went well. What makes me the most proud is that I was able to do it without having to take a pill for my nerves. Having company usually stresses me to the point where I would need one. It has been very nice that we have been off for Fall Break this week so I could take my time planning for this weekend. Yes, I needed a good, long nap after they left but that is not different from most days. Another thing that easily stresses me is packing and I am trying not to think about the fact that we are leaving for Pigeon Forge tomorrow after church. I keep telling myself that we will take our time packing when we get home but I can already feel it stressing me out. Isn't it stupid that something like packing could actually cause me to have a panic attack? It makes me so mad at myself but I'm afraid I won't be able to avoid those pills tomorrow!
I have had some people mention miracles to me and I want you to know that I very much believe in miracles. I believe that God can and does perform miracles. I have seen him heal people completely from disease. I believe that he has can use doctors/medications to heal us. In my case, I think it would be a miracle for my disease to be prolonged several years. I already think it is a miracle that I have not been violent with my temper - which is a typical first symptom (and my biggest fear). I also have to balance my belief in miracles with my knowledge that God does not always choose a complete healing. I have to accept the very real changes that are happening to my body and mind - oh how I wish I could ignore them! So they way I choose to live is in acceptance. I accept that I have this disease but I am always open to miracles that God may have for me. I pray that he is not done with me yet!
Today I am thankful for my in-laws. They are wonderful people.
3 comments:
just my opinion but... is it possible that your blogging, getting things off our chest cleared your mind so that a nice time with the in-laws was possible, with out the use of a pill?
That is possible since blogging has definitely helped clear my mind. But I usually get very stressed under time restraints and this week I wasn't under any. I didn't have to work and the kids didn't have school or homework. I could take my time cleaning and shopping. I wish I could spread everything out into a week - with nothing else to do!
regardless of how it happened, good for you. I hope you and your family have a great time. Enjoy this beautiful fall weather.
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